“Grieving” is so hard to live — or write. Abject grief for a beloved son, grandson, and nephew lost to us far too soon would seem to expose too much pain for those left behind to endure.

Yet there are gifts in unexpected moments, in dear friends and dear family, in the kindness of strangers, in our memories of Jozef “Joe” Sloma — gifts of wonder and love. Thank you all for your kindness and care. Your kindness, care, love and shared memories have helped reshape and transform what could be abject into an unexpected gift of beloved community.

Perhaps the most wondrous gift is that we helped raise a son (Kathy’s Mom Jean Callum always says it takes a whole community) who touched so many, did so many things, worked so hard, inspired so many, and had his own unique flair for doing so.

Joe (Jozef) had his own way of doing things, so we are celebrating his life in a non-traditional manner through non-traditional “scholarships” (e.g., to Vermont Fish and Wildlife Conservation Camp) and other commemoration. Take me to the GoFundMe page.

This year, our pasque flowers in Spokane bloomed in early April, while we were still struggling as empty nesters. Pasque flowers are also symbols of Easter, spring, rebirth, renewal, and transformation. It seems fitting to begin a post about grief with the potential for renewal. Jozef Callum Sloma built the Craftsman arbor that graces the pasque flower bed, redesigned the concrete drive around it for better drainage (unexpectedly, and with discussion), and helped me move the wood chips (in one of his classic trucks) that make these pasque flowers flourish.

When we moved into our 1928 bungalow, our family first planted the pasque flowers. Not too coincidentally, they are located by the water spigot where Jozef Callum Sloma filled his 5-gallon buckets to water his sapling guerilla tree forest planting.

Thank you for sustaining the earth that has given us all life and being Jozef’s beloved community: near and far, close friend and family or merely acquaintance who encountered social media or theater, touched by his music or a classic vehicle, student of enthusiasm or experienced passionate teacher. Your love shows in the beauty of pasque flowers, music, and the breath of the earth.

Pasque flower word origin

Originally coming from the Middle French passefleur, with pass- meaning “something that exceeds or surpasses” and fleur meaning “flower”, the basic understanding of our term can be taken to literally mean “a flower that surpasses others”.