“We light this candle to celebrate Unitarian Universalism.”
At the beginning of our Sunday morning Children’s Chapel, we “light” a battery-powered tea light and say these words to signify that we are starting a special time together, a time to experience the values of our faith tradition.
Using hand gestures, we continue to say the full chalice lighting as a group. But what do the words really mean for the formation of our children’s faiths?
“This is the church of the open mind.”
First and foremost, we want our children to see themselves as unique individuals. Unique means one-of-a-kind — there is literally no one else just like them!
When we see our own uniqueness, we can perhaps more readily see that others are also unique individuals. We can better resist the generalities and stereotypes that lead to missed opportunities to form deep relationships with people who are different from us, people who might at first seem like they could never become our friends. Being open-minded to individual uniqueness helps us celebrate surprising commonalities and interesting, enriching differences.
When we realize we are all unique individuals, we also understand that our experiences and ideas shape us, especially as we grow up. Let’s be sure to give our children a wide range of experiences to aid in their shaping, and let’s approach these experiences with our “thinking caps” fully fastened so that we can help them discern the truth.
“This is the church of the helping hand.”
We often say that for UUs, “service is our prayer.” We want our children to learn early on that having an open mind isn’t enough. We need to put our thoughts into action! The extended hands that we hold in front of ourselves during this part of the chalice lighting are facing upward: helping is receptive in nature, not aggressive. When children help, they learn about their own strengths and challenges, they develop compassion, and often collaborate with others.
Helping starts at home. Especially during a pandemic, there are not a lot of opportunities for children to be involved with direct service in the community, but, as the saying goes, mighty oaks from little acorns grow. Small gestures such as helping a sibling with a chore, delivering a cheerful drawing to a neighbor, or picking up trash in the neighborhood park can help children develop the skills and attitudes that will help them act on their beliefs as a UU.
“This is the church of the loving heart.”
As UUs, we use our religion to love. We must model for our children that we don’t shame or guilt others, that we assume positive intent, that we draw boundaries when they are necessary for our safety. Choosing love isn’t always easy, but it’s usually — probably always? — the right thing to do.
Remember, we want our children to have a strong sense of their own individual uniqueness. This sense of self, open-mindedness about other people and experiences, and an eagerness to help combine to create a courageously loving heart.
“Together, we care for our earth and work for friendship and peace in our world.”
To adults, the vision of a peaceful world can seem like an unrealistic “happily ever after” of a fairy tale. But to children, this vision is within reach. From a biological perspective, the synaptic pruning that we all need to survive as adults hasn’t yet happened in young children. Their futures are full of bright possibilities. Hopefully the values of Unitarian Universalism will motivate them to be open-minded, helpful and loving as they grow up. With these three values at play, our world really can be filled with more friendship and peace.